Can you receive?

Warning in advance this message might be a bit garbled as I have had little sleep for the last few nights as it seems that clever baby prep mechanism that wakes you up on the hour in your third trimester has kicked in.  Lucky me! 

But here goes... 

Are you able to receive?

This has been coming up for me so much on my journey of softening into my feminine and even more on the wild ride to mama-hood and I realise how much I struggle with opening myself to other people's care, love and support... and this includes that of my energetic team or "the Universe" as you may prefer to refer to this collective of energy.  

You see... as women we are caregivers and lovers.  Many of us are hard wired this way so much so that putting ourselves first seems criminal and impossible.  We feel selfish when we put our needs first and I want to take a moment to clear this up.  

In no way is a SELF FIRST selfish.  Got it...??

That was a bit of a segway but I feel like it needs to be reiterated as much as possible as I see so many sisters in my field getting sick as they put themselves last.  Fill your cup, honour your own space and energy and everyone will get an even better version of you.  It's a win win!

Now back to receiving... 

How many of you find it hard to ask for or accept help (or even receive compliments - tune into that for a moment)? Perhaps feeling that it is a sense of weakness to not be able to be in your power as a woman and do it on your own? Or maybe there is some funky self worth stuff in the depths of your being?

Personally, I shoulder the burden as a protection / control mechanism - something I have been doing since I was very small to be OK.  The more I can feel empowered and self sufficient in my own field, the more I feel safe and secure, but through this process I have made my life way more exhausting and have shut many people out who want to get close to me.  AND I've emasculated some men in my life by being too full power.

But I want to remind you sisters that it is STRONG TO BE SERVED by the men and women in your life.  There is no weakness is putting up your hand for help, in calling in the team and surrendering when you are feeling overwhelmed.  In fact you can think of it as your own personal service to the collective as people get a really good feeling when they are able to help you (especially the men in our lives as it allows them to feel like men!)

As I become more and more pregnant I have had to acknowledge that I am not going to be able to do it all on my own (and in fact I really don't want to).  I had an opportunity to bring a baby int the world on my own in 2012 (another big story for another time) but made a very hard decision that it was not right mainly because I could not imagine having the strength to navigate the process of parenthood solo.  It was simply too big a task even for me and I am glad I took this road as it meant I ended up in Ibiza meeting my husband later that year.  I seriously take my hat off to all of the mamas and dads who do it so beautifully but this was not the path for me.  

I've had to acknowledge I am going to need to let go of control of my home and how it looks, and to allow my husband to help me more (with no judgement of his methods or abilities) AND I've realised I am going to need to accept financial support which feels especially strange for me.  My husband and I have always shared the load of our cost of living but as I wind down my work (and my income dwindles) I am having to face the uncomfortable feelings of needing to be looked after and even taking a huge bank account exhale as the outgoings far outweigh the incoming right now (gulp - scary in expensive Sydney but I know this is part of the surrendering medicine I need). 

It was a big step for me to see an osteo in this pregancy as I usually take charge of my own healing and have found myself finally dabbling in essential oils, mainly to form a bigger practice of giving back to my body and activating my abilities to receive love and nourishment.  Calling in massages from my husband and luxurious baths and finding new ways to give back to myself other than my usual spiritual / movement practices which are my normal means of honouring.  Small steps but it is working and I feel myself softening and opening more and more each day.

Here is another way to look at it that might help... 

You know that feeling you get when you do a good deed for someone, you gift someone something with no expectation of anything in return? That feeling of giving lights us up and drops us nicely back into an experience of life in the flow?  You can see receiving in another way... perhaps as you are receiving you are in fact giving someone else the opportunity to feel fulfilled.  Try that on for size...

And on the topic of flow, how can we truly be riding the waves of contraction and expansion that are ever present in our Universe if we are stuck on one setting?  Life is a dance of inhale and exhale.  Of giving and receiving.  And the more we can fall into the cosmic dance the more ease and grace we call in.

I like to do this dance with the energy of money (although I would be lying if I said it doesn't freak me out a bit) and even more so in my business right now where I feel to offer so much more for free because I feel as if the paradigm of money is changing on our planet.  The more we can gift and let go without feeling the fear of needing something back or feeling the tension in our body of holding on, the more we welcome in a greater flow back to us.  

I know this post has suddenly taken a turn to the money paradigm (which I am going to write more on later) but they are all linked.  Can you feel it?

The more we are able to take an eagle eye view of life, and remember that we are not here doign it all on our own.  To let down our armour and invite in the juicy flow of the Universe that can show up in so many ways.  To give when we feel to give... and open ourselves to receive all the goodness that is always flowing towards us without needing to put up the barriers that we create to feel safe and "powerful".  I promise you life becomes a whole lot easier... 

Take a deep breath and say this with me... 

"I am open to receive"

"I give my energy freely and without condition or expectation" 

"I welcome all the magic and abundance that is coming to me"

"I surrender control to my higher self" 

"My heart is an open channel of giving and receiving love"

Try this every day and tell me what happens...

Love you xx

Reflections at almost 32 weeks...

Dearest sisters... I am writing this to you as a little share of this journey of my pregnancy and the wonderful world of joys and fears it has brought to the surface.  This is but a snippet of a much bigger piece of writing that may become public (not sure yet) as I have kept a pregnancy diary through this magical (and challenging) journey of maiden to mama. 

Right now I am 31.5 weeks and feeling the rising anticipation that the baby may not be too far away.  My body has swelled and any upset that came along with losing my figure or the strength of my beloved yoga muscles has long gone and now I am simply navigating how to stay comfortable and sleep through the night (relishing in sleep - oh precious sleep).  Or even walk down the street without finding the pain of pelvic instability too much or the searing burning of my separating abdominals over powering.  So much so that I have to stop and try to take a breath as it feels as if I have a hot knife slicing my belly. 

And oh the breathing... this is another hilarity all of its own.  I am noticing myself sounding all of the time, letting out noisy yawns and sighs with no conscious thought, preparing my body to release a little more deeply.  I startled a "Bondi Hipster" at a traffic light crossing the other day when the noise of my sigh/yawn was so loud it awakened me from my daydream and gave him a fright.  My breathing on the whole is more audible and shallow and I've found myself having to stop to catch my breath whilst facilitating my online womens circles.  

Fears of being prepared enough have been coming into my mind, particularly as so many sisters in my field seem to be having their babies really early.  I feel good about the stuff we have collected - even though I have been deeply resistant to the process, always thinking "if I were living in a hut in Africa would I really need this sh#t" but surrendering to the process of "baby stuff".  Our first eco-disposable nappy delivery will come soon and then I will try to migrate to cloth.  The land of "Bumgenius", "Freetimes" and a whole range of wacky brand names freaked the hell out of me so I had to put them aside for a while a be real about what is possible with no clothes dryer in an often wet and rainy Sydney.  

But it is the preparation for the physical process that has been stumping me the most.  As a woman who rarely looks outside for knowledge the pressure to read more baby books and do courses has been overwhelming and I've found myself questioning my innate wisdom.  In all of the work I do I take my guidance from Spirit - from INSIDE - rather than doing lots of courses and reading.  I have never been able to quote the yoga sutras or rattle off some new scientific info perfectly - there is never any script and in fact often little prep as I allow the energy / words to flow through me - I teach and live from my heart... and I feel to do the same in birthing this baby.

But the self doubt has been hard to keep at bay.  Particularly as everyone has an opinion or suggestion to offer.  It is just this morning that I have decided to sign off on the fact that we are NOT going to do a Calm Birth or Hyponbirthing course and it feels FREAKING AWESOME.  It is like very cell in my being is doing a happy dance that I am finally listening again!         

I would not recommend this approach to all mamas... and who knows, I may look back with regret! It is possible! But as I know myself so well I feel this is the best approach.  

Anything that is going to help me stay in my body rather than in a space of intellectualising birth is what I need.  After all... when we birth we slow down our neocortex and move into a more primal space.  The more we can aid this process by not thinking the more we make it easier for ourselves to breathe, dance and sing the baby out.  I bow down to my dear sister Kara Maria for sending me a message this morning of full support of my decision and in reaffirmation that the best prep I can do right now is to be in my spiritual practice, to dance, to make love to my husband, to make art (and to write as it lights me up) do what makes me feel connected to Spirit.  To be in celebration and joy rather than in "birth bootcamp" mode! 

This brings a powerful point to light... when you are a pregnant mama many seem to go into this cramming for the birth approach as if it is an exam.  Not only can this call in fear and tension into the body (and the feelings of never knowing enough) but it shows how much we have forgotten our incredible power as women.  We have all the tools we need right here so long as we are able to slow down, tune in and open ourselves as the bridge between worlds.  When our baby comes in we are literally worldbridging... opening a portal between dimensions.  We know we may need physical support and care in the process - like a team to set up the birth pool, to get food and drinks, to massage and offer encouragement - but in our hearts we have a strong knowing that we were born to do this. 

I feel so happy in this moment to have remembered this power and feel excited for the initiation that is coming my way.  Maybe it will be ecstatic... maybe it will be intense... maybe I will birth at home in my husbands arms as I hope to... or maybe I will end up in hospital.  I am fully open to whatever the experience needs to show me.  and I am READY! 

Deep exhale to let go of the stress of birth prep and to rest easy in the knowledge that I have been doing this for life times as I have had many visions and dreamings of my role as midwife and birth assistant in other realms.

Faaark yes!

My baby is moving more each day and I feel deeply grateful for the process.  My belly looks like a scene from "Alien" but it brings me joy.  I have to admit I am having a bit of hard time letting go of my work/business and find myself watching others shining in what they are doing and thinking - ugh - I am getting left behind.  But I acknowledge this process is so much bigger than growing a facebook group, making new content or selling places on my 2017 retreats.  

I am feeling so lucky to be a woman right now... and writing to you all about it has been a hige reminder of how magical this journey really is.  Note to self... write more as it always brings me back to my centre. 

Until next time... Lots of love...            

How to keep your vibration high

Let's face it.  This is a massive year filled with major transitions… for us and our planet.

We are riding through incredibly high frequencies, lots of earth movement and major upgrades both for us and Gaia.  Some of us are having a great time with these new energies, finding gifts and abilities suddenly enabled but sometimes this fast paced up-levelling can feel isolating and lonely.  Not to mention the concern that many of you have expressed to me about how to be in such a low vibe 3D world when we start operating at a higher frequency.

Firstly... for those who are feeling isolated in your acceleration process please reach out to me as there are many communities that have formed that can offer you the support you crave.  My Priestess Temple of Activation is one of those safe spaces.    

And for those feeling challenged by how to stay high when there is so much “low vibe” or dark stuff happening here are my tips for you. 

For a start - let’s ditch the judgement and the naming of the low / high vibration …the light and the dark.  As we become more sensitive - yes - we will be able to perceive differences in frequency but don’t let it stress you out in anyway.  The higher you are vibrating the less of this heavy stuff that can touch you.  Think of yourself like a powerful crystal that emanates a charge.  Like any magical energy this vibration will be attractive to many and you may find yourself becoming magnetic to what you call low and high vibrations.  But what I want you to remember is that your charge is so strong that it can only take on or assimilate other frequencies that are of the same level or higher and it has an innate technology that repels lower vibrations - unless they are ready to be transmuted that is.  If you are attracting those ready for some transmutation action then consider this part of your energetic service work.  I promise you that if you are reading this you are doing much of this work all the time!     

The same applies to the wild happenings of our world like Brexit and the global political / terror scene.  I know it can feel challenging sometimes to stay high when it looks like the world as we know it is falling apart.  This is when I call in my "Go Go Gadget Shield" and really check in with where I am with my energy.  Even in these years of the old stuff bubbling to the surface for purification - the battle of light over dark - kind of like a giant pimple getting ready to explode (#gross) please fly above these scenes and take an eagle eye view and remember that this is all happening as it needs to.  Perhaps these events are calling all of us back into our hearts and finally we will work as a collective… maybe we have some fairly heavy stuff to navigate before we get there… but whatever goes down know that we all signed up to be here in this grand of GRAND moments and have front row tickets to the greatest show on earth.  Chances are, like me, a huge part of your service mission in this life / body is to help to anchor this frequency like the crystal you are hence why you are synchronistically reading this post!     

Here is a download on how I charge up my “Go Go Gadget HIGH VIBE shield”:

• Breath into your belly and start to attune to your energy of the moment
• Feel yourself connecting into the earth perhaps with a cord or the roots of a tree, anything that  plugs you deeply into Gaia
• Draw up the energy of the earth and feel it flooding you vessel all the way up to your heart
• Bring your awareness to your crown and upper chakras and open yourself to receive the energy of the stars, unified field, moon, sun - whatever feels relevant
•  Draw this energy into your heart 
• Now we have created a torus field of energy, running up and down your prana tube allowing you to be a clear channel for these energies. 
• From here I like to use my heart to pump up my field - or I have my Go Go Gadget moment! 
• Breathing in and out through my heart I visualise my field (or merkaba if you want to get into the sacred geometry) starting to power up and amplify.. and if you are very visual you might like to see this field as a giant bubble of golden white light that encases you and keeps you fully charged, activated and protected.    

I like to live in these expanded state and find that it happens automatically particularly when I give some awareness to it.  This is the most efficient space for me to live from and it is what I call aligning with my divine essence (among other things).  I also have an amazing Maharic Shield activation I use as well that perhaps I will share more on later. 

I laugh as I write this as I am currently flooded with pregnancy hormones and have been feeling very 3D and less than activated so I am even more called to work with my own field amplification AND I constantly remind myself that I have the free will to choose my vibration in every moment... 

This is a good tip for you too!! When you feel yourself succumbing to the external energies around you know that all you have to do is plug in and choose how you want to vibrate.  Marianne Williamson might even say "Choose love over fear".  This is the same concept. 

I hope this helps... I am always here for your questions... 

Love you... now I have to get out and move my body as I haven't left the house in two days! OMG! #preglife