My journey back to the sacred feminine

Having just completed my most magical sacred feminine retreat yet I feel to share how I came to be working in this space with the divine goddess and creating women’s retreats cross the globe… honouring the energy of Shaktima and harmonising our sacred masculine and feminine.

For years I have known that I need to be on this path of helping people heal, working with energy, yoga, dance, holistic health with the assistance of the unseen… but I was not really clear on ‘who’ I should be helping specifically. When I used to think about this from a marketing perspective the phrase of ‘who is my target market?’ would always be ringing in my ears and, despite my attempts to try different niches, on nothing felt quite right.  All I could feel is that I should be working with people like me!

As an experiential learner who spends a lot less time reading and researching (in the head) and a lot more time tuning in, experiencing and feeling (in the body, heart and gut) I figured that I was best equipped to help those who were going through similar stuff as I have been/am going through… perhaps the ex-party girl who is trying to find her feet in a healthier world, the woman transitioning to a more spiritual life, the goddess yearning for a deeper sense of connection to something bigger than herself, anyone learning for deeper LOVE (both inside and out)…  the woman who doesn’t  feel she fits into her world anymore own world as she shifts energetically and needs help navigating the path.

And I allowed myself to be guided by the signs along the way and by those who reached out to me for help… as my clients always teach me so much about myself.  They always shine a mirror to my face to expose what I also need to be working on.

Even though I was on my way to Ibiza to host a Solstice Goddess Retreat I hadn’t quite realized the power of the work I was about to undertake (and that it would soon become my life).  I arrived to meet my beautiful and divinely feminine retreat partner Kirsty and I was carrying a lot of fear and apprehension.  I was ready to bare myself as I am and was worried about how I would be received (specifically by her retreat clients)… and I was jetlagged, and firmly in my masculine, busy Sydney persona!

Without going into too many details, that retreat was a huge learning curve for me!  I found myself constantly stuck in a space of comparison to Kirsty who was holding the space for these women so beautifully, nourishing them with juicy yin yoga and a safe space to let go and relax the contract of perfection of their daily lives.  Whereas I was having dramas with the chef over the food not being what I wanted, feeling of rejection by the guests as they didn’t seem to respond so well to my stronger style of vinyasa…. I felt vulnerable and shaky and I certainly shed more than a few secret tears during that pivotal week.

I was trying so hard, coming from my usual space of pushing and fighting …  of wanting everything to be perfect… and I really struggled with what I needed to do (not only on this retreat but in my life in general)… I needed to soften and surrender and allow it all to unfold.

And then, in the midst of all the struggling, I met Jules, our magical intuitive and oracle card reader and she was the anchor and guiding light I needed through this process.  I spent time with her and we had a powerful session where she explained something that came through for her… and I have been referencing it in all of my work ever since.

She explained to me about the journey into the yoke… and this is an analogy I use time and time again to explain the sacred feminine (I love it).  She told me that I had spent so long creating this hard outer shell from years of pushing, ‘man’-ing up to make it work in our patriarchal society and to feel safe… almost like I had formed a crystalline casing… and even when describing this state it’s like you have to grit your teeth and clench your fists, you are working that hard… This shell is like the last 2000 of patriarchy on our planet, where both women and men have had to fight and push to get ahead, to simply be OK, relying on the masculine energy and keeping the Shakti or sacred feminine locked away as perhaps we didn’t believe in her power (or maybe we were afraid of how powerful she truly is).

But in this time of shifting energy, the true dawning of the Age of Aquarius… the eggshell is crumbling and we are finding ourselves in the egg white.  Now, imagine a space where you were used to having walls, a floor, something to hold on to and then suddenly you where floating in jelly… nothing to grab onto to keep you “safe”… forcing you to truly let go… scary as fuck for those who feel most protected and safest in the egg shell.  This is a process I am in everyday… and I feel we all are as the rules are changing on our planet.  As we are flooded with new light frequencies, more powerful than we have ever know we are being forced to wake up from our slumber… Shakti (our scared feminine energy) is making her presence known and rocking our world.  We are beginning to remember our power, allowing ourselves to operate from a softer space of allowing and finding the sense of flow.

And this journey isn’t over yet … we are on our way into the yoke.  This is the space of the infinite… infinite co-creativity.  Of ultimate harmony and divine union of our scared masculine and feminine, our Shiva and Shakti.  I love to think of the masculine and feminine energies within each and every one of us like the ocean.  The masculine Shiva is the power of doing, of concentration, the power to direct our energy and attention to manifest our ideas, but it is the feminine Shakti that breathes in the life of creation.  Shiva is the ocean and Shakti is the wave… without the Shakti energy the Shiva power is redundant and they need to work together in harmony to move our world forward… to breathe the life in and CO-CREATE!

Really, this story of eggs and yokes is all about finding that cosmic dance within us… and that perhaps we must totally dissolve and trust in order to get there.  To allow the masculine to let go of the reigns for long enough for Shakti to prove her power (this is my 100% journey – TRUST TRUST TRUST).  The ability to work with the energy of Shiva to have the vision, the concentration, left brained organisation to be ready for the wave of creative Shakti to birth it into being.  When we are too Shiva (or too Shakti) we become out of balance… sometimes to the point of feeling it in our physical bodies.  I have experienced pain down the right side of my body for a long time and in many philosophies, the right side (and left brain) is linked to the masculine and vice versa for the feminine. This rang true for me as I had felt so stuck pushing and working so hard to make it happen all the time that my masculine was over utilized… and this is what it felt like in my body.  The right side was tight simply from over use and yearning to be given a rest.  There are many contradictions to this rule though as in Tibetan medicine the right side relates to the Sun and the female… but either way… experiencing more pain and tension on one side would lead me to believe there is some sort of imbalance occurring.

And even on my last Goddess Retreat in Goa, after 7 days of being a super Shakti, creating new yoga classes and stories everyday and literally feeling like I could not create any more (which is silly because Shakti creative juice is infinite) I was ready to be back on the computer for some logistics (booking flights and making budgets), because my Shiva felt under utilized.  As you can see it is all about the balance!!

Having come almost 9 months since this total A-HA revelation I have come so far on my journey.  Ever since opening myself to this work 90% of my clients come to me with these out of balance issues, even before I started talking so much about it in social media etc.  I have been given so many signs that I am on the right path and am feeling so much more balanced in myself.  I am learning to nurture both sides of myself and use the energies efficiently.  I am feeling decidedly less schizophrenic and more united inside and with the greater energetic field.

You will see the insurgence of sacred feminine talk online (and feel the vibes)… and I want to ensure you that this is not new work at all.  Women have held space for each other for centuries, and although we lost our connection with these ancient rituals through our patriarchal world for a while they are well and truly back!  Birthed out of hiding by the rise of Shakti!!  And even all the Shakti talk does not mean the masculine is any less important, it is simply that the Shakti has been over looked for so long we have to honour her a little more and re-learn how to work with her power…. To trust her wisdom.

I am so in love with bringing this work to the world and love nothing more than holding space for women to blossom and let go on my retreats.  My Goa Goddess Retreat was my juiciest yet and I am feeling so in my power… and completed inspired by all of the powerful women I am attracting.  I bow down to Shaktima as she certainly is showering me with gifts!

Feel like you would like to know more about this work?  Book in for a one on one session with me!

Or join one of my retreats in these magical places!

Sri Lanka Surf Yoga Bliss  - April 26 to May 2

Bali Raw Yoga Bliss – May 24 to 29

Ibiza Solstice Goddess Retreat – June 15 to 21

Sedona Shiva Shakti Activation – September (dates coming soon)

Mexico Wild Goddess Retreat – October 1 to 7

BIG LOVE xx

Do you give the Universe permission to help you?

I was listening to a channeled message from one of my favourite galactic sources  yesterday and was reminded of a simple rule – to give the Universal Energy permission to help you!

As I went through my morning qi gong practice today I said a few affirmations out loud to myself as I was waking up the meridians of my body (with my slapping technique – more on this later)…

I give permission to the Universal energy to help me heal

I give permission to the Universal energy to help me become the clear channel to help others

I give permission to the Universal energy to make my business an abundant success

I give permission to the Universal energy to expand my energy

I give permission to the Universal energy to help me spread the light

I need to remind you dear one, that this energy is not going to be put upon you, you have to believe it, you have to hold out your hand and be ready to receive it …

Say, for example, you come to the place where you want a drink of water and you can stand there with the water all around you but you will still die of thirst, until you find your glass to dip in the Source.  You can stand in your life filled with sorrow and pain, with the Energy of Spirit all around you and not until you make the choice to invite this Universal energy in will you feel the cosmic support.

Our energetic helper beings are waiting for your call, they just need permission to step in and help us….  So please grant it… for the good of yourself .. .and the good of our planet!

What are you waiting for?

We have free will so it is up to us to make the choice….

It’s time to make our lives easier… it’s time for us to relax… it’s time to let go of the whole burden that we often perceive our lives to be.

It’s time to EXHALE… and feel supported.

Do you feel better already?

I hope so…

Love you xx

I hold my tounge in order to expand

For my whole life I have talked too much.  

It’s my knee jerk reaction specifically to nerves, stress and fear… when those feelings come it’s like I try to make myself feel better by babbling away.  I also notice I ramble on like a crazy lady when I am over tired and delirious (which happens often)… sound familiar?

In recent times, as I have begun to dive deeper into my energy and how I am using it, I have realised how much life force I give away with my incessant chatter.  I have begun to take note of how depleted I can feel after a day of extreme communication which generally ends up being a huge explosion of energy without me grounding myself first.  I feel myself make my way out of the anchored and relaxed frequency of meditation and connection to the core of the earth and into some more frazzed out place of shallow breath, tiredness and stress!

This past week with my Russian dakini sisterhood in Hampi really proved this point.  As the only native English speaker amongst 30 Russians I had a forced introspective and non-verbal week, which was perfect as we were diving deep into ourselves, stilling our minds and drinking in the energy of the ancient site.  Along with the deep meditation we were doing on a permanent basis I really noticed the profound effects of the withdrawal of my verbal communication.  I started to feel full all of the time, more receptive, more tuned in, more in the body than the mind… really able to hear the voice of my higher self… and I felt the EXPANSION of my energy on a whole new level!

I came to realise that when we are silent we are BIG and able to operate in the state of ALPHA.  This is the state we achieve in a kind of waking meditation.  I feel like when we operate from this place we are in a state of flow, of creativity of a deeper connection to spirit and Universal Law.  It’s like we are moving in soft and subtle alignment, not needing to exert ourselves just allowing ourselves to be guided by our inner wisdom and working in harmony with the planet and beyond.

And on the flip side, when we are noisy we move back into the BETA state and we lose our power (and become small).  Now, I’m not specifically bashing on the beta state as this is the place for  heightened concentration, cognition and alertness (err maybe I am!) but I do know from my own experience that when I make every moment an act of meditation, moving from a different frequency I feel nourished, I feel full and I feel I can create so much more by exerting less energy.

How good does that sound my dear friends? Creating more, exerting ourselves less… this is what this practice is all about!  Moving into the alpha space and doing everything from there (or here as I am in it right now – breathing in and out of my heart space and grouding my energy into the earth).

Now I’m not saying be silent all the time (as this would not be practical) but I do invite you to try it on and see how it feels for you.  Finding mindfulness in the choice of words and when you choose to speak rather that exploding all your reserves all over the place in over excitement (yes, I have the same mental image – ha) all of the time.  Once you start to operate from this place the other feels wasteful and messy!

Writing this has also reminded me of a trip I took to a breathing specialist who pointed out how much of the time I mouth breathe.  In order to stay in this space of relaxation we need to breathe deeper, diaphragmatically and longer if we can.  There is a theory that we have a finite amount of breaths in this life so the more we can lengthen and slow the breathing down the longer you will live!  I promise if you start to live in ALPHA this is very achievable.

I remember when I demonstrated my speach for the specialist and he counted how many mouth breaths I took between words, simply because I never paused for long enough to breathe deeply…  I was astounded.  In fact I challenged him to show me how he could speak without mouth breathing… and he did, just like this.  He took a deep belly breath and paused allowing his words to flow on his exhale.  Then he paused, took a deep belly breathe to refill, paused again and continued on his exhale.  Yes, it was a slower approach but I noticed how much more efficient he was with his energy, how he allowed himself to refill before carrying on and I realised how I have never done that.  I simply plough on without stopping or allowing my listener to process.  Without allowing the words to steep in the moment.

Sound familiar?

This is powerful stuff and really useful medicine for those of us who always move at a million miles an hour.

I hope it helps YOU!

I am making it my own mission to be quiet… to breathe deeply and reduce the number of words that fall out of my mouth.  Choosing quality over quantity and finding my way back into harmony with the expansion of the Universe…

I’ll be over here trying my best to live in ALPHA.