I forgot to love myself

Even as a body aware being and a strong advocate of self care,  when I hear someone I work with, or a friend saying they are taking some time for themselves I still find myself thinking ‘ WTF – they mustn’t be very busy?!’  Despite working in this world where terms like ‘self love’ & ‘me time’ are thrown around with gay abandon, alarm bells still go off in my head and I think how on earth do they have time to put themselves first when there is SO FREAKING MUCH GOING ON!

Every day I am reminded of how much I am still stuck in an old paradigm of energy… trapped in the masculine vibe-ed land of pushing through, working harder, grinning and bearing it through the pain, when really all I want to do is curl up, turn off my phone and go to sleep!   The feelings of overwhelm get the better of me and I find myself putting myself 3rd… or sometimes even 27th! 

But I’m working on it… and acknowledgement  is the key to the transformation… right?

I genuinely LOVE everything I do and it all feels nourishing… but I have to remind myself that nourishment aside, I am turning into a workaholic… and it is affecting my health.

Today is that day of reaching boiling point.  I’m under pressure with so many events and retreats to fill, logistics left right and centre and I have been feeling my right psoas literally tightening every moment.  My breath is shallow, the tension in my computer arm is rising…because I literally have not stopped… for weeks… maybe even for years!  More or less since my biz launched on social media and ramped up 2 years ago… hmmm…

As per usual, when my head isn’t listening, my body kicks into gear (like the time when I was previously engaged to be married and was too headstrong to realise I was making the wrong move – until I became very sick with stress and even got grey hair – and called it all off! – more on that another time)…

Last night I went to bed in tears… I woke up in terrible pain in my neck and shoulder… and I thought… EXHALE… OK OK… I get it body.  It’s time to STOP!!!

I have seen this in countless other coaches and entrepreneurs, totally burnout and bed ridden in order to get through the latest launch and be a success… and we do this because we feel like we have to.  We get caught up in the wave of what everyone else is doing and feel like we will get left behind if we don’t bust a move… this is me anyway!  If any of you have hung out on the BSchoolers facebook group you’ll know what I mean!

Having your own business is FREAKING HARD WORK!!  I’m coaching a number of other wellness practitioners right now and helping give them their own formula for clarity & success… but really, at the heart of it… it takes a lot of energy… and when your energy is already low, busting ass, and never stopping to refill your cup will get messy… We become less effective and our trusty manifestation tools lose their power… and we really don’t need that do we?

So we have to work smarter… !

Imagine a world where we could be so full of Jing energy that we create the same result (if not more) with two hours work versus one full day?  We are able to focus our heightened attention so well that everything flows perfectly… and what we need flows to us.

This is where we can be… but we must do the work to get there! 

For me this work starts with things like creating space for myself, with good food, with meditation, with time in nature, time away from wifi, massage, yoga, conscious love making & connection, reading, LOVE… time for ME… doing things that make me feel full!!!

So today is now officially SELF LOVE FRIDAY… and I’m kind of suspecting there will be a SELF LOVE SATURDAY & SELF LOVE SUNDAY to follow… YES!!

I’m hanging with my goddesses, going wedding dress shopping, drinking smoothies & reading books at the beach… BECAUSE I CAN… and because I am deserving of my LOVE..!

AND because it will make me a much more efficient teacher / coach / facilitator / friend / lover… a more efficient EVERYTHING!

What are you doing for YOU today?

May the self love be with you xx